WHAT KEEPS ME COMING BACK?

FUCK!

I exclaim as I botch the clip and my lead line falls back down between my legs.  I'm more frustrated than fearful at this point, but my position is precarious.  Clipping this bolt is proving more challenging than it should be.  It doesn't help that I'm ten feet above the last one, balanced on tiny smears and palming a greasy sloper with my left hand.  I need a new rope.  The one I'm relying on today is old and has become too fat to feed through modern belay devices smoothly.  No big deal until you want to make a fast clip.

me myself i

CLICK!

The metal gate on my carabiner snaps shut, accepting my rope at last.  I can relax for a moment then continue climbing.  The moves are thin, the foot and handholds small.  Some are credit card thick, razor sharp edges.  Others, slight ripples or scoops in the otherwise smooth face, are only visible upon close inspection.  The difficulty is consistent, never desperate, but certainly never trivial.

view from base of climb

WOO - HOO!

I reach the chains and let out a victory hoot that J Tree tourists probably scratch their heads at, but nearby climbers understand.  I made this cheer extra emphatic today.  Just two weeks earlier I had found this specific climbing route in the guidebook and decided to give it a try.  The crux is at the first bolt.  I couldn't commit to the move that day and ended up not only bailing with my tail between my legs, but I also blew out my fancy $200 climbing shoes well before their time.

ward

GO FOR IT!

My climbing partner Ward sternly ordered as I once again hesitated at the crux.  This crux move involves standing up on a tiny, near vertical foot chip while compressing two razor blade crimps.  The kind of holds you feel for a few days afterwords.  I was almost certain my foot would just blow off.  Modern rubber is an amazing thing.  Once I stood up above the crux my mind snapped into laser focus mode.  I knew I could get to the top without falling.

josh

"REAL NICE LEAD"

Ward said, in a flat serious tone.  "Seriously, man.  That was sustaino."  I casually replied, "thanks man", trying to temper my excitement just a little.  But inside I was frigging psyched.  Its hard to explain but there was just something about this climb that was extra gratifying.  I've done harder, bigger climbs and don't remember being as proud.  I can't really put my finger on what exactly makes this one stand out, but it does, and it keeps me coming back.